Last week I saw this surprise package of a comedy drama series called 'Big Little Lies', A seven episode series starring Reese Witherspoon and the super classy Nicole Kidman among others.
The story is set against the backdrop of a murder that has little to do with the actual story and is more about women and their humdrum of daily existence who have had to choose between a career and family and are having to live with the guilt or feelings of inadequacy due to their choices. The restlessness of such women, the pressure to not just be a good mom but also appear to be one, the pressure of dealing with other tiger moms, ensuring the kids get into the right college, their emptiness brought about by the abrupt departure of their teenage kids, their search for a purpose brought about by the consequent emptiness...... The story has dealt with a number of issues which I wouldn't have understood or related to had I not been a mother myself including school bullying, both physical and psychological isolation of kids, power games played by moms to isolate their nemesis kids...........
The story is set in the rich picturesque community of Monterrey Bay with the beautiful Route 1 as the backdrop for many of the shots. But it could well have been set in any city across the world. Human behavior is universal, much as we would like to harp on about our individuality, the sad truth is we are a species that are uncannily similar when it comes to our relationships, especially the motherly instincts part of it.......
The story also deals with the women's relationship with their menfolk, their sex lives, their equations with the other women. Reese Witherspoon (Madelaine) plays a spunky, quick witted mom who's quite influential so to say in the mommy circles. She's more feared than respected and the battle lines between her and another mom are soon drawn following a bullying incident at school. She's also battling her own demons being married to a great guy who worships her. But Madelaine herself is still trying to get over the betrayal of the first husband who walked out on her at a vulnerable time. Her husband who is aware of these turmoils within her harbours feelings of resentment on account of perennially feeling like a consolation prize especially considering their non existent sex life. Add to that a rebel of a teenage daughter who's crying out for attention by trying to auction her virginity online ostensibly for a noble cause inspired by none other than the bohemian second wife of the father. Somewhere in between all this she also has an extra marital affair and is later consumed by guilt.
Then we have Kidman playing the role of Celeste, the beautiful rich wife of a younger successful good looking architect with their two adorable twin boys. The whole community is jealous of the veritable passion between the handsome couple who cant keep their hands off each other after so many years of marriage. A visit to the school is met with sidey remarks to the tune of 'There should be a law against couples getting gooey post 40'.... But the scene inside the bedroom is far from perfect. The husband is an insecure violent guy prone to fits of anger which acts as an aphrodisiac for him from where he gets his high and therein stems the convoluted sick desire for his wife which leads him to beat and kick his wife which ends in them fornicating. Whatever happened to good old-fashioned affection, the tried and tested aphrodisiac. Whats more, she does not even confide to Madelaine (Witherspoon) her best friend in the zeal to protect her husband. Her defense of her husband is symptomatic of most wives who are victims of marital abuse and their reluctance to expose their husbands for who they really are. Its painful to see her put on a brave happy front in front of her friends who are blissfully unaware of the abuse she goes through at home. On the contrary, they give him these adoring Aww looks and envy her good fortune. Celeste, herself an erstwhile successful lawyer whose husband's insecurity prevents her from getting back to work finally gathers enough courage to prepare to get out of the abusive relationship with the help of her counselor. However, fate has other plans for her. A surprisingly entertaining binge watch with a feel good happy ending.
On the other end of the spectrum was this movie called 'Lipstick under my burqha' set in a second tier city in India which is trying to find its identity sandwiched between Mac stores in the high street malls and women sporting jeans under their burqhas and is playing catch up with the big metros. Four women protagonists trying to break free of a male dominated, regressive, culture spewing community which uses societal conditioning as a damacles sword against these women... We have the 55 year old Buaji, the famous halwai in town who secretly reads porn novels hidden inside magazines and harbours a crush on a younger man while outwardly doing all the things which Buajis do including attending Satsang and behaving like a righteous matriarch. Then we have the young minority community girl, the daughter of a burqha tailor who takes off her burqha once shes out of the house and jams with her friends singing Led Zepplin and Jim Morrison. Then we have a Muslim housewife who's trying to supplement the family income by taking up a clandestine job as a door to door salesgirl without telling her unemployed husband who treats her like a doormat while having an affair with another girl outside. She watches in horror through her burqha as her husband lovingly run his hand through his girlfriends hair, the man whom she'd believed to be incapable of any affection...the man ready with a catalog of her indiscretions at the slightest sign of rebellion..
The movie was hard hitting and unpleasant to watch. The maker seems to have relied on a lot of shock value to see the film through. One of those movies that are purely made for the expression of art and loved by critics.
At the end of the day, its an unpleasant fact to admit that whether you are a rich housewife from Monterrey Bay or a voiceless wife from a minority community, its not an easy ballgame to have the final word on your life. Women need to develop that private arrogance within themselves, that bedrock of self-certainty that needs neither proof nor explication, a fact that we need to be aware of while bringing up our daughters.
